Monthly Archives: September 2010

Merry Little Notes

Merry Little Notes



In a full heart there is a room for everything, and in an empty heart there is a room for nothing

                                                                                        - Antonio Porchia -


A Story about Marriage

Very touching story about marriage.

Definitely worth your time to read.


When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?


I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!


With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.


She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.


The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.


When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.


In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.


This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.


She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.


I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.


My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.


On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.


On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.


On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.


She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.


Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.


Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.


But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.


I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.


She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.


Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.


At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.


That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.– At least, in the eyes of our son— I'm a loving husband….


The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!




If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.


If you do, you just might save a marriage.Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.


Merry Little Notes

Merry Little Notes



The only lasting beauty is the beauty of the heart

                                                                                                                     - Rumi -


Merry Little Notes

Merry Little Notes



Goals are dreams with deadlines

                                                                                                  - Diana Hunt - 

Alvernia 1st Day at Pre-School

Last Tuesday (14th Sept 2010) was Alvernia first day at pre-school.

After comparing and viewing so many different school around the area, I finally decided to put her in the Little Wood Montessori. It was actually recommended by my friend, Violet Lim. Her 2 kids are in that school too :) 

I'm so excited about it (I think I'm more excited than her … hahahha..) because this is going to be the 1st time for her to be in school alone, and I'm sure she's gonna love making new friends there.


We woke up 6am that day to make sure that everything ready before the school bus come. Turns out, we were already ready by 7am, so while waiting for the school bus to pick us up, we had a bit of time playing at home.


Alvernia preparing to go to school


Alvernia first day at school 1



Alvernia first day at school 2


Alvernia first day at school 3



Alvernia first day at school 4


After everything is settled, now it's time to say goodbye.

Give her a huge hug and a kiss :) and told her that mummy is gonna come earlier to pick her up after school :)



It looks like she can really understand what I said and she didn't cry at all :)





As for the rest of the photos, it wasn't taken by me. The teacher had kindly asked me whether I want to leave my camera with them so that they can take picture for me :) so nice ! :)



Alvernia first day at school 5



Alvernia first day at school 6


Alvernia first day at school 7


It was definitely a fun day! I can see that she really enjoyed going to school.

When I picked her up, the teacher commented how well behave she was. Alvernia said thank you when her friend help her with her shoes, and the teacher was pleasantly surprise :)


Vern, Mommy feel so proud of you !


Merry Little Notes

Merry Little Notes



Everything you can imagine is real

                                                                                                   - Pablo Picasso -


Women Extraordinaire – First Batch

2010 has been a great year for me. Not only that I finally hit my big '3'  but it is also because I can proudly have my own Women-Only programme, called 'Women Extraordinaire"


The first run was done last August, and it was simply awesome!


Here's some of the pictures taken


For FB2


After much preparation …


For FB3



Many women today find themselves struggling to balance a fulfilling career with other family roles & personal responsibilities. With heavier workloads, increasing expectations & higher demands, women are realizing that life is not a bed of roses & “having it all” is not as easy as it seems.     


And that's the very reason why I created this Women Extraordinaire Programme. It is a 4 days progamme which is designed to help you master the most important areas of your life:


      your emotions, your time, your relationship, your career, your money and yourself!



WE program - day 1



Day One:


Reconnect With Your Deep Inner Life & Recharge Your Energy 



·         Clearly articulate the most important forces that drive your life

·         Identify your values, passions, and purpose

·         Create and experience a deeper sense of meaning in your life

·         Experience a stronger sense of seIf

·         Boost your self-esteem

·         Live your life on your own terms

·         Experience personal growth

·         Experience more happiness and feel more fulfilled

·         Learn how to love yourself



WE Program - day 2



Day Two:


Discover The Ultimate Success Formula in Relationships



·         Understand the differences in Masculine and Feminine Energy

·         Identify what makes a relationship work

·         Discover the tools for finding and creating a passionate relationship or reigniting passion in your current relationship

·         Master the tools to create the ultimate relationships with your spouse, your family, your children, and your colleagues

·         Become an active listener and how to move from hinting and hoping to actually Saying It!

·         Understand the effective way to understand and expressing love

·         Revolutionize your relationships




WE Program - day 3


Day Three:


Design & Achieve Your Financial Destiny


·         Understand why women, like you and me, love to shop

·         Learn how decisions – both big and small – can help you reach your personal and financial goals or sabotage your best intentions

·         Understanding what does money mean to you

·         Eliminate the ‘impulse-spending’ habit in you

·        Learn how to take control of your finances

·         Identify practical tips to improve your current financial situation

·         Learn steps to achieve your financial freedom



Bring Your Career To The Next Level Through PERSONAL BRANDING 


·         Learn where things are already working for you in your career, and where they’re not

·         Identify your own personal power

·         Leverage on your strength

·         Overcome burnout and over-commitment

·         Make yourself standout from the crowds

·         Increase your credibility at work



WE Program - day 3 personal image



Looking Great And Feeling Confident


Learn how to look and feel your best, make a great impression everywhere you go and feel confident in every situation.


        • Your personal identity

        • The key to personal branding

        • How you are perceived by others

        • How your style can support your career



WE Program - day 4



Day Four:

Live The Life You Deserve Anytime, Anywhere!



·         Learn how to use affirmations, daily reflections, and how the law of attraction can be applied in your discovery work

·         Craft your Mission Statement for a Life of Purpose

·         Designing you life full of fulfillment

·         Creating your own map

·         Where are you going? Discover and write your life story

·         Plan more effectively and set appropriate goals for yourself

·         Stay motivated



 Graduation day


Last but not least, it's our GRADUATION Day ! :)


I had fun interacting with all the participants, and it really a great joy for me to be able to see how these women has 'transformed' in that 4 days.


If you have missed this event, make sure you attend the next one :)



Overcoming Adversity

Learning to handle problems is like lifting weights: The more we do, the stronger we become.


weight lifting



None of us wish for problems, of course, but we all know that inevitebly we all must face problems in our lives.

When problem comes, one thing that I do is to be grateful. Grateful to know that I have given chance to grow and be a better person. We should be grateful too, knowing that we are gaining coping skills that will help us in the future.

I've learned a lot from the most difficult times in my life, and I am a stronger person as a result.





"I ask not for a lighter burden but for a broader shoulders"