Monthly Archives: November 2009

I first met my ex-boyfriend, who is currently my husband, 10 years ago. We were from the same university (NTU). How we met is another long and interesting story, and I believe it was really by fate that we both know each other. We then engaged in 2002, just after we graduated, and married in 2004.

To me, marriage life is so interesting. And I really believe that to make relationship works, love itself is not enough. There are many things that are also as important, and one of it is to have effective communication.

We need to learn how to express our exact feelings to the other person. That includes making our needs known to our better half. I know it’s definitely not easy. I myself find it very weird initially, because I guess as Asians, we are not used to articulate our needs to our partners. Sometimes we are afraid that asking for what we want might cause conflict or even worse, maybe we’re afraid that our partner will think that we are being stupid or unrealistic. But still, in my experience of being married for 5 years, communicating our needs is something that is essential. Many times we feel so good when our needs are met, and on the contrary, we also know how bad it feels when they’re not met. Well, guess what? Our partner can’t read our mind; he or she can’t guess what our needs are. That’s why we need to communicate this to them.

When it comes to relationship, we all have different needs. In general, there are five categories, i.e. emotional needs, physical needs, social needs, security needs and spiritual needs.

Here are some examples from each category:  

EMOTIONAL NEEDS  

1. The need to feel, and be told, that we are loved

2. The need to feel respected as an individual

3. The need to feel appreciated for who and what you are and do

4. The need to feel special, above everyone else in our partner’s life

5. The need to feel passion between each other    

PHYSICAL NEEDS  

1. The need to be hugged or held

2. The need to be kissed, even if casually =)

3. The need for tenderness

4. The need to be touched and caressed

5. The need for a satisfying and rewarding sexual life =) hahaha…  

SOCIAL NEEDS  

1. The need for appropriate tenderness and support when in public

2. The need to hear sweet things in social environment

3. The need to be remembered with calls when apart

4. The need to share joy and laughter

5. The need to feel that we are the most important person in our partner’s life and awareness when in a crowded, busy social environment  

SECURITY NEEDS  

1. The need to know that our partner is loyal and committed

2. The need to know that our partner is there for us in times of 3rd party conflicts and problems

3. The need to know that our partner will always be with us through good times and bad times

4. The need to know that our relationship will not be put at risk because of any disagreements and confrontations    

SPIRITUAL NEEDS  

1. The need to feel that our partner respects our spiritual needs

2. The need to feel that our personal spiritual values are supported without judgment

3. The need to share a spiritual life, even if that spiritual life is experienced differently by us and our partner  

Again, those are just some examples. Hopefully by reading it, it can stimulate your thinking.

To end my post today, I would really encourage you all to grab a piece of paper, or since you already in front of the computer, go and open a Microsoft Word file and start to make your list of needs. And try to find a good time with your partner to just discuss and talk about it.

Trust me, it will work wonders. Well… at least it works for me. =)

I am very blessed with everything that I have today.

These things are definitely not easy to have been achieved, and I should give thanks to God knowing that He plays a big role in each and every one of them. There were many nights when I couldn’t seem to fall asleep as there was so much on my mind.

Sometimes I was just worried about my business, worried about my work, or even worried about my personal life. There were also times when I couldn’t find any solutions or even when I was just so anxious about few things.

But how did I manage to go thru that? The answer is because I learned how to  Let Go and Let God.

(photo: Courtesy of my talented cousin, Joshua)

“Let go and let God”, a phrase we hear often in our circle of Christian community, but what does it mean?

Well, probably I’ll try to explain it by using a simple story. 

One Sunday evening a man was out walking, but he had become so engrossed in his own thoughts that, without realizing, had wandered far off and was now completely lost. It was getting late and cold and would soon be dark. He began to feel afraid and his steps became quicker and unsteady.

Suddenly, something underneath him gave way and he fell. He tumbled down and down and just as he was about to fall over a cliff, he managed to grab onto a branch. But, he was now just hanging there; no way to climb back up and nothing but darkness below him.

Help! Somebody!! Please…Help me!" he cried out. …But no one came; it was a desolate place. He was terrified. His hands were freezing cold and he was losing his grip on the branch. There was no one to help!! In sheer desperation this man, who was an atheist, call out to God, "Please…please…if you're there…God…please help me, save me and I will believe in you always!!" Suddenly, and to his amazement, a voice echoed all around him, "Trust Me….Let Go…. I've Got You… Trust In Me." The man looked around him and below him and thought for a moment, then he mumbled to himself, "Let go? Trust? You must think I'm mad?? No way!"

This story doesn't always end like this but I think that many people find themselves in this man's situation. Sometimes we were caught in a desperate situation where all our deepest instincts are telling us just to let go, to surrender ourselves to God and trust Him. But we are so full of doubt and fear that we just cling on instead and solely depend on our own strength.

The alternate ending to this story is that the desperate man decides to let go. He falls into the void below, but moments later he finds himself on solid ground. It had been so dark that he could never have known that the ground was no more than about 5m below. He was safe and unharmed. What's more, it turns out that the ground he has landed on is a pathway; the pathway he had been searching for all along – the route home!

This whole story is a lovely metaphor for having the courage to trust and to surrender everything to God. Be it in my business or personal life, this understanding really helps me a lot.

As a human I can only do the best for my part. The outcome is something that I have no control of. But now I have no worries because I know and I believe that God will take care of it.

When I was a teenager, my teacher always taught me: “Do your best and God will do the rest”.

That is very true, but I’ve also learned that the only way He can do the rest is when we start to let go and let God do His work.

Sometimes, if we don’t let go, it may even intervene with what He wants to do. So, my job now become very simple. In every single thing that I do every single day I just need to always do my best, let go and let God do the rest =)

Remember about 2 weeks ago, I shared with you all about my audio interview with Adam Khoo ? http://www.female50gp.com/2009/blog/merry/audio-interview/

Well, appearantly WordPress has limitation on the size of the file that you can upload. But no worries, because right now, problem is solved!

I have uploaded in youtube, and provide you all with the link. Also, I've written the summary of the audio interview for your reading pleasure. I'm very sure that you'll learn a lot from Adam's sharing. So here it is…

Many people yearn to become successful in their lives, achieve financial freedom, and to realize their dreams. These people, however, either doubted their abilities to do so or blame it on the situation that they’re in. I was very fortunate to be able to interview Adam Khoo. Through this short audio interview you will rediscover and release the innate abilities that you possess to be successful, and the right way to run your businesses. For ladies, you’ll learn the real meaning of gorgeous, how to exhibit this beauty from the inside out, and at the same time, believing that success does not only belong to men, but women can do it too.

Adam Khoo is the Executive Chairman and Chief Master Trainer of Adam Khoo Learning Technologies Group Pte Ltd which has branches at various places of South-East Asia, as well as the director of 7 other private companies. While many are still busy experimenting their life directions at the phase of “twenty-something”, Adam is a successful entrepreneur who have already made their first million at the young age of 26. Adam is now a best-selling author as well, finished ten books and his eleventh one is in the making. His education company is also moving towards an international platform, selling his franchise to European country, Holland.

Among all his business and hectic schedules, you would wonder where he got his time to do all these things that he like, such as writing, giving speeches and spending time with his family. In his glamourized world, Adam’s proudest moment is not to helm all his businesses. Instead, he stresses that his proudest moment is when he managed to step down. He says, “The test of a good entrepreneur is someone who can make themselves obsolete because if you got to be there doing everything, then the business doesn’t work. You work. And the moment you die, the business dies.” Holding on to this principle, Adam has a partner who general runs all his self-sustain businesses for him, and thus freeing up time for himself. The essence of running a successful business is to move towards a self-sustain business, quit the self-employed show, and leverage.

People are Adam’s best resources. His advice to you is to leverage. Lower your ego as a boss, and learn to appreciate the work and aptitude of the talented people that you hired. Only then, you’ll have capable and loyal employees who willingly work for you. In addition, honesty is an important prerequisite when you bring in these talents under your wings, “because if they’re dishonest and they’re smart, they’re going to cheat you of your money” Adam says. After leveraging, finding these talented honest people who are loyal to you, empower them as well. Both Adam and I have testified through our businesses that when your people are successful, it will eventually lead to your own success.

In relation to 50 Gorgeous People by Female magazine. Adam describe that being gorgeous does not only limit to physical attractiveness, but also someone who radiant an inner beauty from the inside out, someone who is able to inspire other through their work, and family. All ladies are entitled to be gorgeous and successful. Instead of listening to other people’s success stories, believe in yourself that you’re able to have your own success story as well. “Love yourself, look into the mirror and no matter how you look, or where your past has been, you’re someone special, important. You’re put on this Earth for a reason, for a purpose, with unique talents and skills, and make the best use of it. That’s how you make the greatest contribution to the world,” Adam says.

Click on the picture to listen to the audio interview"

While I was in Bali, I saw many interesting things. I managed to capture some of it to share with all of you =) Here it is…

[

Bike Cyckle =)]

Poor duck =)

Also, another reason why I was so excited to go to Bali was because I knew that I was going to eat at Bubba Gump!   This restaurant is awesome! they specialised in shrimp. First time I ate there was in Maui, Hawaii 3 years back, and from then on I kept thinking about how nice was their shrimp and wanted to go back for more. Unfortunately, all their branches mostly are in US, and dun have any branch in Singapore. So you can imagine how happy I was when I found one in Bali =)  

 Oh no… !! talking about it really makes me hungry.. =p

If only they have another branch here in Singapore…

Some says, you must love what you do and success will definitely will follow.

I couldn’t agree more ! And I feel very blessed, because not only I love what I’m doing what I also really love the people that I work together with.

If you watch my interview in Razor TV http://www.razor.tv/site/servlet/segment/main/lifestyle/38090.html,

I’m currently running several businesses. One in financial industry, another one in training and the last one is the non-profit. Merry Riana Organization (MRO) is a group of outstanding and committed young individuals with a mission to achieve financial freedom for ourselves and for our loved ones. The Organization is a lifelong dream came true for me.

In MRO, we share the same vision of achieving our dreams while we are still young so that we can share our successes with our parents and families. In MRO, we consistently take action together everyday to move us closer towards the accomplishment of our vision. The most important thing for us is to cross the finish line together.

In MRO, we enjoy what we do and we live everyday with passion knowing that we become our own boss, we control our own time, and we chart our own destiny. On top of that we are proud to say that we are getting richer and richer everyday by helping other people in ways that only we can help.

For our Organization, TEAM is an acronym that means Together Everyone Achieves Miracles. We experience that something magical happens when a group of people combine their single dream to form a Dream Team.

Here are some random pictures from our most recent activities.

What a coincidence!

Only yesterday I posted about how we must love what we do, and this morning I attended a seminar and the speaker said the same thing too.

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is… love what you do.” (Steve Jobs)

 

May you love your job and your job loves you !

Touching Hearts Changing Lives,
Merry Riana

ps: I just changed my hairstyle last weekend… It has been donkey years since I had short fringe… not very used to it..
hahaha.. what do you guys think?

Home sweet Home !

Just landed in Changi Airport early this morning. It has been many days since I updated my blog, and I have so much to share with you! Hmm.. where should I start, ok then… I will start with my Bali trip first.

The last time I went Bali was 5 years ago, at that time I came alone because I was there to give some trainings to one of the big MNC there in Bali. So this time I was totally excited, because it was my first time go to Bali with my husband. Yippie !! Since many people who read this blog loves to see more pictures, I shall not write too much then.

Like the old says: Picture says a thousand words. Luckily I brought my Canon Ixus 110 IS to capture all the great memories. So here it is…

It took about 1.5 hr to fly from Jakarta to Bali. After that not-so-long journey, we finally landed safely at Bali International Airport Reached our Villas, we are welcomed by very friendly staff and very refreshing welcome drink. We actually stayed at this villa called Vision Villas, the reason why we choose to stay here because this villa is very unique, unlike others vacation villa, this one is specially catered for people who want to be renewed and recharged.

Besides its great facilities, it also has a very comprehensive library of books and DVDs covering all subjects from health, wealth and leadership to building business and growing our spirit. My husband and I really love it. Perfect place for us to be recharged and plan for our business strategy and direction for the next 5 years. (At this point of time, you might think that this couple is crazy… even holiday also talk about work! Hahaha.. but that’s us, we really love what we are doing, and to us, it really doesn’t feel like ‘work’ at all)

Anyway… let's just continue with the pictures …

Taken with Canon Ixus, Beach mode. Shoot natural scenes in strong sunlight

Taken with Canon Ixus, Sunset Mode. Shoot sunsets in vivid color

See you on my next update.