Recently, I read the news about a famous couple in Indonesia who recently just got divorced. Ironically, when interviewed, both sides can easily talked non-stop about the other partner’s weaknesses and faults, as if there is really no end to it. And I wondered, this was the person that he/she was married to and fell in love with before. How can everything be that bad? Did they really change as what the other partner said? Personally, I think it’s all a matter of choice.
I believe relationship is about making choices. A choice to emphasize and concentrate on our partner’s faults or on our partner’s positive qualities.
Let me give you this analogy.
There’s a huge difference in the feeding habits of vultures and bees. Vultures are scavenging birds, feeding mostly from carcasses of dead animals. They fly overhead searching for dead animals. When they spy a decaying animal, they fly down to satisfied their needs. Honey bees, however, look only for sweet nectar. They are very selective as they search through the flowers in a garden. Just as the vultures and the bees always find what they are seeking, so we will always find what we look for in our relationship. If we focus on our partner’s faults or mistakes, we will always find them (anyway, who never make mistakes, right?) and our relationship will be colored by that negative attitude. However, if our daily quest in our relationship is to find and affirm the positive qualities of our partner, we’ll be surprised at how many we find and how those discoveries will enhance our relationship.
Our choices and experiences result in the building of memories, feelings and attitudes which couples carry through to our later years.
Ask yourself honestly, when you think about your partner, what is the most recent thing that you remember about him/her? Is it about how he was late in fetching you from work? Or when he forgot to accompany you to go shopping? Or is it about how nice when he give you a shoulder massage? Or leave a cute note on your desk?
Well, whatever your answer is, if it is the positive experience, I would like to congratulate you for being the ‘bee who seeks the honey’. Well done! But if what you’ve remembered is not a positive experience, well it’s not too late. I would also like to congratulate you for at least you’ve read my post and you know that you can start to do things differently from today onwards =) You may be just starting a relationship, or you may be enjoying your 10th wedding anniversary. No matter what your age or length of your relationship, there is still time to make a choice. The memories you are gathering for the future will be influenced by the way you think today. Make your choice today!
About Merry Riana
Merry Riana is a Millionaire Entrepreneur, Best-Selling Author and Motivational Speaker.In just a short period of 4 years after her graduation, Merry has earned more than S$1,000,000 through her business. This achievement is featured as an article titled ‘She’s made her first million at just age 26’, in The Straits Times on 26th January 2007. In October 2010, Merry was conferred the Great Women of Our Time Award. As an icon in the regional, financial, and educational communities Merry has broken down barriers to become one of the most admired and watched individuals in the media today.
visit www.MerryRiana.org to read more about Merry Riana
